A Subject of Scandal and Concern by Osborne John;

Author:Osborne, John;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Oberon Books

ACT THREE

NARRATOR: Mr Holyoake’s first trials after his committal to jail were the profusion of bells: dock bells, basin bells, jail bells, the bells of Gloucester Cathedral and prayer bells.

The Common Room of the jail. Enter HOLYOAKE.

Bells and the itch. The itch being an ailment he was certain he had already caught from his fellow prisoners. More than the complaint he feared the cure. The cure being to be dipped naked into a barrel of brimstone and pitch. After this, the prisoner was left to lie for days in blankets already used by a hundred others smeared in the same way.

The prison Prayer Bell is heard. HOLYOAKE is seated eating a bowl of gruel. He looks around and begins to scratch himself. He is suddenly interrupted by the voice of the jailer.

JAILER: Holyoake!

HOLYOAKE is startled, thinking he has been caught scratching.

HOLYOAKE: Yes.

JAILER: (Entering.) Holyoake!

HOLYOAKE: I am here.

JAILER: Did you not hear the bell?

HOLYOAKE: I did.

JAILER: All the other prisoners have gone to prayer.

HOLYOAKE: What of that?

JAILER: I can’t be talked to in this way. You must go.

HOLYOAKE: You are wrong. I must not.

JAILER: Don’t you know where you are?

HOLYOAKE: I think I am aware of it.

JAILER: Don’t you know you are a prisoner?

HOLYOAKE: I am sensible of that, too.

JAILER: Well you must do as the others do and you must go to prayers.

HOLYOAKE: Then you must c- (Difficulty.)

JAILER: What are you trying to say?

HOLYOAKE: -c-carry me.

JAILER: I’ll report you to the clergyman.

HOLYOAKE: Give the clergyman my compliments and say I’ll not come to prayers.

JAILER is baffled and leaves and HOLYOAKE continues to scratch. Enter Prison CHAPLAIN. The CHAPLAIN is serious, not a fool. He is merely humourless. HOLYOAKE recognises this immediately.

CHAPLAIN: Well, Mr Holyoake, how is it you did not come to prayers?

HOLYOAKE: I am imprisoned on the ground that I do not believe in a God. Would you then take me to chapel to pray to one?

CHAPLAIN: If you attend the ordinances of grace it might lead you to believe.

HOLYOAKE: Then I am sorry for you, sir.

CHAPLAIN: I do not think you understand us, Holyoake, it is not you we prosecute – it is your opinions.

HOLYOAKE: Then I wish you would imprison them, sir, and not me.

CHAPLAIN: (More an unhappy bureaucrat than an evangelist.) But you must attend prayers. It is the rule of the jail.

HOLYOAKE: I will agree to this: that when on Sundays you preach and I shall hear something new. Then I will come.

CHAPLAIN: Well, if you don’t come to prayers, you shall be locked up.

HOLYOAKE: Then, sir, you must give your orders.

CHAPLAIN: Well, you will at least allow me to present you with a Bible for your private reading.

HOLYOAKE: Thank you. I shall be glad of it.

The CHAPLAIN hands him the prison Bible.

HOLYOAKE: This is the usual prison copy, is it not?

CHAPLAIN: Yes.

HOLYOAKE: And it will figure in the next jail report to the county magistrates, will it not?

CHAPLAIN: Yes, that is the form.

HOLYOAKE hands it back to the CHAPLAIN.

HOLYOAKE: (Politely.) Then I should like to be presented with one worth acceptance or not at all.

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